#why is it like an act of evil to me. to feel.good ij general
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Text
Vent:
how do I become okay with feeling good
When is it not something I have to avoid.
I want to be a person
Why is it so hard to be a human and smile
If I enjoy myself am I a bad person?.
Is it okay to forget who you are?
Do you get to indulge in the things that make you like yourself?
I have a field trip today. I have to. anticipate its bad. And that I won't really have a good time.
It would be horrible if I felt good today
It would be bad
I can't ever be free
This is where you live
I would love just a free day. Within any of this.
I don't feel ready to try.
I'm too scared it will hurt too much. It would hurt too much to feel bad.
Why do I have to stay unhappy forever.
Isn't it okay to live?.
When I feel good. I shouldn't feel bad that I feel this way.
Why does feeling good hurt so bad. I start thinking about how bad it is.
I can't do anything.
It will never be enough unhappiness for me.
It will never be enough to justify my pain.
It will always still be bad.
So why can't I just feel good anyway
#cheeseburgerboy#i feel like i am so bad. im not allowed to do anything. and that's okay#i shouldn't take myself seriously at all. and it doesn't matter. except for when it means I'll feel good#nothing is for me because it shouldn't be.#i wish everything would go away. and i wasn't real. then. i might be able to do ut3#why is it like an act of evil to me. to feel.good ij general#i want to say that i hate that. but i feel like im not allowed to. i came even say iy don't like it#i wish it was okay to feel good. i wish it didn't matter to me.#whether or not everything i do is okay#nothing is ever okay. why do i care.#why can't i live life. why does it all have to be horrible#why cant i live.
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